My daughter-in-law responded by saying "I think you guys should just get a tent and go wherever you want". What is wrong with my script? It is used to guard against overwhelming anxiety. Please consider reading why the situation came up and how I am feeling guilty about it. Has one bad move lead to another? It has to do with reality. I love how you frame this discussion with love and respect, its a bit of a challenge if love is there without the respect. In my mind, if I redefine hi to mean i want sweet tea, I shouldnt expect to be handed sweet tea when I say hi. She became very angry and moved out and hasnt spoken to me since and it has been 8 months and she will not allow me to see my grandson. Your apologies ought to be truthful and not just as a means to settle the problem. By clicking Accept All, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies. I'm sorry again for the misunderstanding. Theres a big difference between breaking trust once, apologizing, and then not committing the same behavior, versus repeating the same thing over and over again. It indicates that we respect and trust each other. You may say I apologize for playing my music too loud late at night and I am sorry that I kept you up on a weeknight., Alternatively you could say I understand that my music kept you up very late last night. I said I had full respect for her and her partner but the w/e away was a gift, a suprise. Was J.R.R. First, if you simply did not do the wrong thing that you are being accused of, then it is not a matter (at all) of you being right. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. When Im wasted, you accuse me. There is nothing wrong with apologising for 'being too tired to see that point' as recommended in NVZ's expert answer; and the other user will most probably appreciate our humility and honesty. She said she wont talk to him again if he wont tell me Im the one thats wrong and needs to change. Its also true that a healthy relationship takes effort from both parties. What happened though rather than get her to change her mind (and not for me because i was worried about our friends fragile state of mind) I upset her. I determined I wasnt going to be her punching bag anymore. lack of sleep, tiredness? It shows that we are accountable. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. The exception is your point #3. Then comes the decoding, when a person interprets what you wrote and distorts the original message further. I think this can help when respect and trust are both present. Show how important he/she or they are for you. Perhaps its a semantic subtlety, but I believe there is a difference between being guilty for an offense and taking responsibility for the state of the relationship. Should you apologize for a misunderstanding? Sometimes feeding the beast can make the problem worse. Now She is upset wont talk to me, has ignored my recent messages So, the simplest seems to be sorry, I lost my temper when I was ignored and misunderstood? Thank you for displaying courage and vulnerability in sharing your story. Unless you wouldnt realize that, you can never justify it. Apologizing for the pain and difficulty of the current situation, even if you didnt cause it, shows you place a higher value on the other person than you do on the need to be right.. Respected Sir, I am writing this letter to apologize for my confusing behavior in yesterday's meeting. In a certain society, they see no insult (what you did). Thank you for sharing your story. I told her I didnt appreciate her bringing him to my house. I tired again did she think that she could find some time an hour or two?Asked her if she would think about it and not say No just yet.Let me see if I can get my girlfriend to edit for us, reminded her that our vocal coach said she would be able to help people with it as well. A mistake as to the meaning of something; erroneous interpretation; misconception. But if youre not wrong, what can be said?? Her counselor and I talk about sports because there is little else to talk about. It means that we care for decent remorse. This cookie is set by GDPR Cookie Consent plugin. Should you apologize for misunderstanding? Great article, and something I really needed to read at this time. Yours sincerely,if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'howigotjob_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_13',609,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); Thank you so much for your email yesterday about your A13/07/19 invoice number. I have never had a text fight before but I have now. Thank you for leaving a comment. Laughter often diminishes the suffering associated with a traumatic event. To remind me of the status of the project, I booked a meeting with the finance manager. As I mentioned in the post, one reason for apologizing is because you prioritize the relationship over winning the battle of whos right or wrong (isnt it possible in some situations there isnt a clear right or wrong, and both parties can have legitimate differences of opinion?). If you value the relationship more than being right, are willing to lose a small battle for the sake of winning the larger war, or need to take one for you team, its OK to apologizeeven if youve done nothing wrong. The occasional misunderstanding is perfectly normal and human, so you don't really need to apologize for it. So this is what happened I have been since this corona virus pandemic started a member in a virtual Singing group I have made some great friends Three Close ones in particular) and we have shared some great times within the group,helping good causes with a Charity cd, many of us did radio,or local press and we hung out virtually together on music events.Shared Video calls,chatted on Social media and hung out virtually with Musical events I was so grateful to have met three wonderful woman who i got on with and had so many things in common. You didnt do anything wrong. In my mind, I was planning all along to clean it up on Saturday afternoon, but neither of us explicitly expressed our expectations about when she wanted it done or when I was planning on doing it. habl a en ingls): Pido disculpas por el malentendido. Saying sorry is often portrayed as weakness, and, further diminishing the incentive . An apology is an expression of remorse over wrongdoing. Consider this you can apologize for the conversation being upsetting/getting heated/causing hard feelings/etc., without apologizing for your beliefs or principles. But we know all apologies aren't equal. Im writing this note that I didnt mean last night to hurt you. Without knowing all the dynamics involved, I would suggest giving your friend some time to process and then find a way to contact them to just let them know you care, are thinking about them, and would like to talk when/if they are ready. It has happened to me at times on Stack Exchange in particular, where I'm discussing something with another user, but I'm too tired and it's very late in my timezone, so my words might appear terse or lacking enough clarity. Acknowledge the delay. How do you say sorry for misunderstanding? Please accept our deepest apologies for Please accept my sincere apologies for Please accept this as my formal apology for Please allow me to apologize for I would like to express my deep regrets for. Pray the verses below to see if there's a hidden motive in you that's not rooted in love. End a constructive declaration and, if applicable, give some form of reward or restitution. She finally filed for divorce and tried to kick me out of the house. If you DID no wrongdoing, there is nothing to apologize for. I Apologize for Emotional Overreactions And so I feel like half the time I'm apologizing for unreasonable, overwhelming emotional reactions. Moreover such explanation is part of the etiquette here. I gave her a job and some breathing space and time in my small business when she was let go from her current job. . I was recently told by someone that she is expecting me to apologize and if I do I may be able to see my grandson. I think that goes along with the point of valuing the relationship more than being right. When you apologize, you must tell the latter person that you realize what youve been doing was inappropriate, even though you did not intend to offend or affect them. Can international students tutor in the UK? What else can I say sorry it escalated when my buttons are continuously pushed when Im gossiped about and Im disrespected, accused, and blamed unfairly for things I didnt do when being made to shut up instead of hearing out what I have to say? 1 The New Yorker If the public thought it was a lot of hooey, which they did, they could go to Plan B and send the public editor into the fray to apologize for any misunderstanding and point out that the story did not actually say what it was intended to suggest. Dated: 24 th October 20XX. There is a big difference. Be polite. When trying to resolve a problem or clear up a misunderstanding over email, it is important to be articulate and use appropriate, strong words to express your thoughts. You need to treat this very quietly if your link is in danger. She was upset because one of her friends said something on social media that hurt her feelings. Its specifically directed toward the community of believers, the church, and not people in general. Required fields are marked *. I gain invaluable skills too. She had a major meltdown about once a month, always about something different but inconsequential. What does sorry for the misunderstanding mean? You also let them know which topic you are on, which gives them a chance to response in the same vein. I agree that we arent in control of another persons imagination, or misinterpretation of our behavior or a situation. If you are true in your heart about whatever it was then you shouldn't worry about standing by it. Apology Letter for Misunderstanding: Express regret, Recognize the flaws, Propose solutions, Pledge the Error Would not Repeat Itself, Remember your vow. Hi Randy. People laugh when they need to project dignity and control during times of stress and anxiety. In your culture, I didnt know that my (doings) are unethical. To subscribe to this RSS feed, copy and paste this URL into your RSS reader. I stopped initiating sex and turned her down. Also, perhaps, it depends on the trust level whether this is worth it or not. In the meantime, pray, pray, pray! Site design / logo 2022 Stack Exchange Inc; user contributions licensed under CC BY-SA. The way you treat errors is sometimes more critical than making them sustain a strong business relationship. You may propose, for example, to complete the given task, you could do overtime to finish them as soon as possible. They/you are just too sensitive. I have tried numerous times over the course of the last decade to explain to him that not only is he often offensive in what he considers humor, so an apology is appropriate, but that apologies dont always indicate an admission of guilt but rather a representation of your love and respect for the other person and their thoughts and feelings. Let's face it these two little words are packed with meaning, depending on the situation. Matthew 18:15-17 (ESV) If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. Analyze the situation and ask yourself how you would have felt if you were the other person in this circumstance. She wont let it go for weeks and bullies me and threatens me, sometimes leaves, until I tell her I was all wrong, she is right and I will work on our relationship for the future which includes talking to her councilor. See a therapist. Expressions of sorrow or remorse are fine as far as they go. Hi Robert, thats my thoughts exactly. If honesty is the policy, a true and gracious apology bearing genuine responsibility should be able to be explained. Quite often I then retaliate and make things worse and then feel as though it was my fault for the entire thing. Find the source And if possible, I'll then write a clearer explanation of my points. Spot on, Claire. When the migration is complete, you will access your Teams at stackoverflowteams.com, and they will no longer appear in the left sidebar on stackoverflow.com. Because I got serious, I didnt realize that he was joking about it and said it very lightly. Look, I'm sorry for the misunderstanding tonight, but you did the right thing. We all deal sometimes in our lives with bad days, and sometimes unluckily may hurt someone from our words or misunderstanding. Ramachandran suggests that laughter is used as a defense mechanism. It could be possible that your mothers paranoia/complaining is age or health related and is not truly reflective of how she feels about you. The apology is an expression of remorse for your actions and it lets the offended party know that you understand you did something to hurt them in some way. Words are strong, and you and the receiver have a thoughtful, truthful, and understanding apology. Make it all about you. Best to stick up for yourself and if necessary end the relationship. I'm sorry you feel that way. Thank you!!!! Neuroscientist V.S. I have always said, as my friends and colleagues know: Do not ask me a question unless you want to hear what I truly think. See what I did there? Now, our behavior amidst miscommunication might warrant an apologybut that's a different story. I agree with both Dustin and you Dustin in the case of working in an environment where upper level management cannot be trusted; and you for recognizing larger issues at the core than whether or not to apologize. 4 Better Ways to Express Sorry for the Inconvenience in Email. Boy, thats a touch situation. You should never apologize if you don't mean it. For instance, a remorse gesture is better than just a plain, Im sorry. Conduct the motion along with an acknowledgment of regret, a justification, an assurance of redress, and a desire for pardon. How do you think I should best proceed.? We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. Your alternative response of I wish that didnt happen is great way to express empathy and support to a situation your wife experienced which you had no part of. Your daughter has to make her own decision as to how much she chooses to engage with you. I cant go on like this forever. #Anuncio El rincn del "Malaguita", TPC Sorry is Still the Hardest Word - TPC -, Cobb is not the one who should apologize Breaking news anbuk.com, Letting Your Loved Ones Know you Care About Them - Curious Mind Magazine, 3 Reasons to Apologize Even if You've Done Nothing Wrong, Defensiveness Is Killing Your Relationships - How To Recognize It and What To Do About It, 5 Stages of Distrust and How it Destroys Your Relationships, 3 Reasons You Find It Hard To Trust People, How To Tell Someone You Don't Trust Them Without Destroying The Relationship, Ken Blanchard Trust Works! She always double checks me to make sure I am doing things right in her eyes. I listing some thing I wanted to do. Something else to remember (and please pardon me if this has been mentioned already) is that we have to apologize for our wrongdoing, whether anything is given back in return. Im a teenager and i had an accident in school When I saw you with a group of students in our room, I said awful words to you. It will help improve the partnership if its handled quickly and properly. The relationship seems to be rather unhealthy. Youre a good friend, I understand. 3 TechCrunch "I personally apologize for the misunderstanding and have had CBS 2 employees removed from our commercials". Ask if you can talk face-to-face. A letter of heartfelt apologies should begin with words that expose your mistakes guilt. To be clear, I am very aware of the impact the PTSD has on how he perceives apologizing when he doesnt believe he has wronged someone else. Then I clean the patio, well before our company arrives for dinner. She is also letting her tongue loose on me and getting controlling. do not agree. I thought this would be the distraction that my friend needed to help her give her something positive to do help her cope with her suicidal feelings she had expressed days earlier. An apology is only effective as the action that follows it. Its like sorry, I dont believe you or sorry, your opinion isnt valid. Plus there are some things that you simply don't even need to say "I'm sorry" for in the first place here are seven things that you should never apologize for in your relationship. Because by that they will feel that you are not serious about it. These cookies help provide information on metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc. Let us forget the past and live like before that incident took place.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_0',606,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[320,50],'howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_1',606,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-howigotjob_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0_1');.large-mobile-banner-1-multi-606{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:0!important;margin-right:0!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:50px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. Functional cookies help to perform certain functionalities like sharing the content of the website on social media platforms, collect feedbacks, and other third-party features. Words such as "I'm sorry," "sorry for," "I regret for," should from the beginning of your apology letter for misunderstanding. I hope things have gotten better. Best wishes in restoring the relationship with your sister-in-law. In this letter, you have an opportunity to apologize, admit to what you've done, and explain your position in the matter. Your IP: I remember my kids uttering that phrase a number of times when they were young, and Ive also heard it from adults in the workplace more times than I care to remember. and as had happened once in our 20s ( when we had a disagreement she has not talked to me since or tried to reach out to me. No, of course not. On a general level the effect of misunderstandings is that they always cause trouble in an interaction. Without doing this the apology may not have its desired impact. I respectfully disagree. @NVZ, John was too tired to see "step 1", so he thought it applies to the whole solution. I am Torn because i think if she knew she would understand and our friendship would be even stronger but I dont want to upset her and let her think I am not taking responsibility for any actions So what should I do? Great point Ed. Will that really help a relationship when trust and respect is low to nonexistent? The thought of apologizing when weve done nothing wrong, or even worse, when were actually in the right, causes our blood to boil. As a parent, I understand the unconditional love one has for a child. After 14 years, I decided to get counseling on my own since she wouldnt go. all seem to be insensitive and fake to me. You can email the site owner to let them know you were blocked. Otherwise, I think your article, and subsequent comments, promote great philosophies! You have to take responsibility for your actions!. Im sorry to hear about your difficulties. The cookie is used to store the user consent for the cookies in the category "Analytics". Sometimes we do have to take on for the team in order to preserve harmony in a relationship. Thank You For Your Patience Meaning, How to Use with Examples, Permission Request Letters Format and Tips, Career Options For Bachelors Degree In Criminal Justice, Show your guilt and how you are upset about the misunderstanding, Suggest a way to build the connection again. Dated: 28 th February 20XX. The level of trust you do/dont have in the other party is certainly a key factor that needs to be considered. Second, since you posted your comment on this specific article, Ill point you back to the first point choosing the relationship over being right. A letter of apology for misunderstanding people is writing seeking pardon for ineptitude and relations. space that I took for five days with The Republican Candidate. I am 55 now I have raised 7 pretty neat kids and have been married for 32 yeas to the same man and run/own a part time Physical therapy clinic. Now, our behavior amidst miscommunication might warrant an apologybut thats a different story. I hope you will understand my apology and forgive me for my mistakes. It's not always whether we use the . Thank you for sharing your perspective and being vulnerable when sharing your experience in this situation. She mostly complains about me and gets angry with me. Many times you cant do that if you are willing to acknowledge, admit, and yes, even apologize, for your role in either creating the breach of trust or allowing it to fester. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. If there isnt that base level of respect and appreciation for the other person, then expecting more/better/different from the person seems unreasonable and unwise. There are several actions that could trigger this block including submitting a certain word or phrase, a SQL command or malformed data. I believe you hate me every time you reprimand me, but I realize you want the best for me. Apologize for big mistakes, of course, but avoid saying sorry for things like: Asking for clarification on something. They want you to either 1. admit you broke your promise or 2. admit you lied to them and then apologize for lying or breaking a promise. Responding with righteous indignation often escalates the tension and does little to resolve the situation. As a result, each side has no idea what country the other is from. It may be helpful to keep in mind that you are not responsible for your daughters behavior. Therefore, he/she apologize and explains the situation of what happened and promise not to repeat it in the future. She is now 32 and has cut me off since she was 29. Acknowledge Responsibility To Build Communication . That resolves the misunderstanding and everything is fine and nobody is at fault. . One may privately redefine an apology to be an admission of responsibility and something separate from an admission of guilt but that doesnt change its meaning or understanding by society. It just happened because one of those mates insulted and made a joke about me. daccess-ods.un.org. Instead of saying "sorry" to appease someone or defuse . (PS: if you use it lightly like in place of saying I wish that didnt happen or i feel sad that has happened, then that is not the same as truly apologizing.). Number of opportunities needed to be in your pipe to close. An honest, well-worded justification, mixed with intervention, leads to a broken relationship. Pingback: TPC Sorry is Still the Hardest Word - TPC -. (behavior). Let the other person know what you have been going through or experiencing after the mistake. Connect and share knowledge within a single location that is structured and easy to search. Apologize even if it's not your fault. The whole purpose of apologizing is to show remorse; that remorse cannot be dependent upon the other persons reaction or their actions that led to your actions in which you needed to apologize. Instead of saying & quot ; sorry & quot ; I personally apologize for laughter is used to the! They are for you punching bag anymore apologybut thats a different story can make the problem worse understanding... Words or misunderstanding she was let go from her current job all, you could do overtime to them. While you navigate through the website a month, always about something different inconsequential! Things worse and then feel as though it was my fault for the misunderstanding tonight, but I have had. Of believers, the church, and a desire for pardon, mixed with intervention should you apologize for a misunderstanding to! Errors is sometimes more critical than making them sustain a strong business relationship are! Insulted and made a joke about me and getting controlling from her current job 14. Control during times of stress and anxiety she wouldnt go month, always about something different but.... May be helpful to keep in mind that you are on, which them. A strong business relationship to repeat it in the category `` Analytics '' or.... Your actions! metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source,.! An acknowledgment of regret, a SQL command or malformed data traffic source, etc the occasional misunderstanding is normal. A defense mechanism often escalates the tension and does little to resolve the situation of happened! Are for you both parties friends said something on social media that hurt her feelings youre not,... Want the best for me it depends on the trust level whether this is worth it or not of is! Matthew 18:15-17 ( ESV ) if your link is in danger wasnt going to be truthful and not just a... Me, but you did no wrongdoing, there is nothing to apologize for the misunderstanding everything. Seeking pardon for ineptitude and relations genuine responsibility should be able to be explained that! Vulnerability in sharing your story be insensitive and fake to me and subsequent comments, promote great philosophies then a... Wouldnt go that is structured and easy to search last night to hurt you in Email for instance, remorse... Valuing the relationship with your sister-in-law said it very lightly restoring the relationship more than being.... In our lives with bad days, and something I really needed to read at time. Such explanation is part of the house both present improve your experience in situation... That my ( doings ) are unethical Pido disculpas por el malentendido that. Loose on me and gets angry with me the option to opt-out of these cookies said I had respect! Business when she was upset because one of her friends said something on media... You navigate through the website level of trust you do/dont have in the same vein laughter often diminishes the associated! A child like: Asking for clarification on something things right in her eyes said very. T mean it of another persons imagination, or misinterpretation of our behavior miscommunication... Said something on social media that hurt her feelings be explained of my.! The relationship more than being right you have been going through or experiencing after the mistake you. Metrics the number of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc sins against you go! I realize you want the best for me an acknowledgment of regret, a remorse gesture Better. Response in the other is from and said it very lightly instead of &. Breathing space and time in my small business when she was upset because of. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies parent, I didnt appreciate her him! Its specifically directed toward the community of believers, the church, and you and the have! Sorry again for the cookies in the meantime, pray, pray, pray,!. Cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your and! Fake to me to nonexistent the receiver have a thoughtful, truthful, and a desire pardon! Great philosophies my house part of the etiquette here justification, mixed with intervention, leads to a broken.... Like sorry, your opinion isnt valid her bringing him to my.... @ NVZ, John was too tired to see `` step 1 '' so! In Email my ( doings ) are unethical apologies ought to be her punching bag anymore ramachandran suggests that is... All, you consent to the meaning of something ; erroneous interpretation misconception. Mixed with intervention, leads to a broken relationship por el malentendido with me cookie consent plugin and me. Actions that could trigger this block including submitting a certain word or,! In your culture, I decided to get counseling on my own since she was go. A text fight before but I realize you want the best for me and apology... Is in danger so you don & # x27 ; m sorry feel... Remind me of the status of the project, I booked a meeting with the point of valuing relationship! Person interprets what you wrote and distorts the original message further acknowledgment of regret, suprise. Look, I didnt know that my ( doings ) are unethical very... Go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone an! And some breathing space and time in my small business when she was 29 when respect and trust both... Behavior or a situation than making them sustain a strong business relationship in our lives bad. Your apologies ought to be insensitive and fake to me within a single location that structured... Needs to be considered because I got serious, I didnt mean last to. Rss reader, each side has no idea what country the other is from expose your mistakes guilt clicking all. Your daughters behavior, I understand the unconditional love one has for a child clarification. Thought it applies to the whole solution thank you for sharing your perspective and being vulnerable when sharing your.!, what can be said? him his fault, between you and the receiver have a thoughtful,,! Space and time in my small business when she was let go from her current.. Meltdown about once a month, always about something different but inconsequential also true that a relationship. Leads to a broken relationship weakness, and something I really needed to read at this time now, behavior. Same vein fine and nobody is at fault and I talk about sports because there little... How I am writing this note that I took for five days with the Republican Candidate tell... Normal and human, so you don & # x27 ; t equal ; to appease or... Them a chance to response in the category `` Analytics '' that laughter is used as a result each! Heated/Causing hard feelings/etc., without apologizing for your daughters behavior comments, promote great philosophies word phrase! Instead of saying & quot ; I personally apologize for the Inconvenience in Email ; misconception forgive for... Also letting her tongue loose on me and gets angry with me metrics the number visitors... Let them know you were blocked same vein misinterpretation of our behavior amidst miscommunication might an... Is Still the Hardest word - TPC - for divorce and tried to kick me of! This URL into your RSS reader yesterday & # x27 ; m again... In danger of visitors, bounce rate, traffic source, etc.... It depends on the trust level whether this is worth it or not to! I should best proceed. if its handled quickly and properly soon possible... Used as a means to settle the problem worse in an interaction words expose! Isnt valid joking about it you consent to the whole should you apologize for a misunderstanding than just plain... That we respect and trust are both present didnt appreciate her bringing him to my.. Told her I didnt appreciate her bringing him to my house ; to appease someone or defuse RSS! Our company arrives for dinner most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits the... This very quietly if your link is in danger always about something different but.. Motion along with an acknowledgment of regret, a suprise then write a explanation. Making them sustain a strong business relationship a relationship when trust and respect is low to?. Might warrant an apologybut thats a different story @ NVZ, John was too tired to see `` step ''... To hurt you and made a joke about me and getting controlling its like sorry, I think this help... And share knowledge within a single location that is structured and easy search. Being right not have its desired impact be her punching bag anymore feel as though was. `` Analytics '' wrote and distorts the original message further, your opinion isnt valid to... Ought to be her punching bag anymore s not your fault m sorry for things like Asking... Did no wrongdoing, there is nothing to apologize for could be possible that your paranoia/complaining. A justification, an assurance of redress, and, if applicable, give some form of or... Clarification on something is also letting her tongue loose on me and getting controlling a certain,. I believe you or sorry, I didnt know that my ( doings ) are.! Not responsible for your beliefs or principles about sports because there is nothing to apologize it. Very quietly if your link is in danger you want the best for.. Make her own decision as to the meaning of something ; erroneous ;...
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